Just Kidding! I didn't choose the watermelon really. I'm not black so that one is obviously not going to be my choice. Sheesh - as if!
Ok. I haven't stopped laughing since I watched Twatson's recap of The Latest (that's me!). So, the world according to Derp goes a little like this:
If you don't agree with Twatson, it's because you're abnormal.
The biggest question to arise out of this is something in the form of: if I can't corner women in elevators at four in the morning and invite them to my room, how will I ever get laid? In short, you won't, fuckers.
Except me since I take dick. That's my secret gay power right there. I would link to all of the people who say otherwise with respect to what the issues are. But that's like the whole internet minus PZ, Twatson, Benson, Greta and Jennifer McCreight (rhymes with wrong). So, pretty much look anywhere else and see.
Then go look there and you'll find that's not the number one question either. (granted, they censor, ban, edit and redact posts as they see fit, so YMMV).
You can also get a sex doll; she promises they won't go around pestering with you advice, or complaining. Apparently, they'll just lay there and let you fuck them. Or a fleshlight. If you're a woman who doesn't agree with her, I'm afraid you weren't worth any advice on how to get laid. After all, as a gender traitor, your concerns for sex aren't relevant in this conversation.
Now that I think about it, neither was anyone else's since we're here discussing beverages. Meh, details, details.
Oh, and don't forget the denouement she has: I stick my fingers in my ears (a welcome break for my ass let me tell you) and sing lalala. But keep talking to me!