Friday, July 22, 2011

Watermelon, I Choose You!

Just Kidding! I didn't choose the watermelon really. I'm not black so that one is obviously not going to be my choice. Sheesh - as if!

Ok. I haven't stopped laughing since I watched Twatson's recap of The Latest (that's me!). So, the world according to Derp goes a little like this:

If you don't agree with Twatson, it's because you're abnormal.

The biggest question to arise out of this is something in the form of: if I can't corner women in elevators at four in the morning and invite them to my room, how will I ever get laid?  In short, you won't, fuckers.

Except me since I take dick. That's my secret gay power right there.  I would link to all of the people who say otherwise with respect to what the issues are. But that's like the whole internet minus PZ, Twatson, Benson, Greta and Jennifer McCreight (rhymes with wrong). So, pretty much look anywhere else and see.

Then go look there and you'll find that's not the number one question either. (granted, they censor, ban, edit and redact posts as they see fit, so YMMV).

You can also get a sex doll; she promises they won't go around pestering with you advice, or complaining. Apparently, they'll just lay there and let you fuck them. Or a fleshlight.  If you're a woman who doesn't agree with her, I'm afraid you weren't worth any advice on how to get laid. After all, as a gender traitor, your concerns for sex aren't relevant in this conversation.

Now that I think about it, neither was anyone else's since we're here discussing beverages. Meh, details, details.

Oh, and don't forget the denouement she has:  I stick my fingers in my ears (a welcome break for my ass let me tell you) and sing lalala. But keep talking to me!

25 comments:

rystefn said...

As a person with abnormally-colored hair, I am offended by that cheap-ass dye-job.

Nothing else here is worthy of response.

Justicar said...

Not even her talking about "unpacking" her "box"?

ERV said...

How could you NOT choose watermelon with that hair/shirt combination?

Its a subliminal baseball bat.

Justicar said...

I have to say that being happily gay, I'm immune to that kind of thing.

I'm a bad gay; I'm not fashionable, I can't tell chartreuse from green, and I don't have a single painting in my house.

But if I had to choose, I'd rather have a conversation with a watermelon than with her.

Also, I have to say this video is hysterically funny to me. It's like she's been living on another planet since this whole thing went down (on Dawkins in the elevator). The one question she's taken out of all of this, the thing that shows up most often is how do I get laid if I can't "corner" women in elevators at 4 am whom I've never before met after supposedly hearing her say she was on her way to bed and didn't want to be hit on.

That's an awfully specific question to appear, let alone to be the dominant one.

Not something, like, say, "Do you think you owe Stef an apology?"

"Where do you get off telling other women what they don't like?"

No. None of that.

Then again, she did admit she's not reading the comments or feedback (after quoting some of it, which is a curious feat alone).

Fuck me running!

rystefn said...

I say again: I hope it arises as a general-use sorting algorithm to hit on people in elevators at these in future. People who get upset are people you wouldn't want anything to do with anyway, and people who laugh and make a coffee joke are awesome.

casecob said...

happily gay here too, and enjoying avoiding the subliminal baseball bat (nice line, ERV, you had me LOL'ing)

Justicar said...

Just please don't bring a cat - you know that having a cat in the mix makes us partners for life. Damned rulebooks.

ERV said...

:(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjPao2yjRk4

Justicar said...

lawl.
I thought I had free time on my hands.

I'm only as current as:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaDbpxHvCA0

rystefn said...

Yeah, good times. Luckily, my gay best friend here never disappoints, except for insisting that we're not friends... and I'm not the best...

Are you even gay?

Justicar said...

For the right price I can be pretty much whatever you need me to be. =P

Anonymous said...

Still attention whoring herself out I see. I really doubt anyone would ask her for any sort of advice.

rystefn said...

LoL... and the Latest reminds us all what a mercenary fucker he can be.

MrYellovich said...

After watching the video, my wife turned to me & said, "My god she's such a cunt!"

Spence said...

I find this difficult to masturbate to.

Justicar said...

Want to grab coffee and tell me about it?

Scented Nectar said...

Pausing to laugh.... she's turning off comment notification? Why doesn't she just turn comments right off? People who say shit like that, always DO look at their comments. They just want to keep some sort of face where they can pretend they didn't see it.

Pausing again... "Cornering a woman"? Oh, now he "cornered" her in some sort hunt or attack?

Pause... Normal this, normal that, who the fuck is she to decide normal? Does normal = the only acceptable/moral/approved/allowed way? Fuck you, Waawaawatson. You're demanding that I, a fellow woman, not be allowed to nonharmfully offer, or be offered, sex, at times and in ways that YOU don't happen to like. Stop fucking with my nonharmful sexual freedom.

Ok, finished the vid now. I guess men who buy sex toys are creepy evil scum too, by the sounds of how she's talking. It seems masturbation and sex toys are reserved for the lowest of the low. I have to wonder, does she put down women when she hears that they own a vibrator? I'll bet that's totally different, eh?

Justicar said...

Well, that's not the half of it. No sex advice for women at all. I was going to ask Abbie, but as I learned last night, she's either lost or misplaced her vagina:
"You're right. It is only an insult to women with vaginas. That Abbie is a woman is entirely beside the point. She is a woman using a mysogynist term to paint another woman."
Comment 929 -
http://scienceblogs.com/erv/2011/07/dawkins_coup_de_grace_in_vegas.php#c4563535

Scented Nectar said...

I'm in the middle of catching up with the comments there in another tab right now. I wish a third of my day wasn't wasted sleeping, or I'd be so much more caught up. :)

Spence said...

Want to grab coffee and tell me about it?
OI! Even though I go around in public forums talking about my sexuality and sexual issues, that DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT IT! Or even THINK about it. You're sexualising me and object-orientating me, or something.

And asking me for coffee? THATS PRACTICALLY RAPE, I know because Phil Plait told me so.

Having got that off my chest, the last thing I would like to say is, in answer to your question, "yes". Brimstone brew of jer-coffee?

Justicar said...

lawl

I see what you did there!

Anonymous said...

Hi, I usually don't feel the need to comment on blogs too much, but I've been following this very entertaining internet saga and I just wonder who in their right mind would want to spend any time with this woman at all? I mean, she doesn't seem to be appealing on any level. But, on the positive side for me at least, I have new blogs to look at, like yours and the ERV's. So thanks, Twatson!

Anonymous said...

Could someone put on their merchandise a pin or T-shirt that says "take back the elevator"?

Anonymous said...

"Can I give you a lift"? "Can I go up on you?"

Justicar said...

What's the difference between Rebecca Twatson and a watermelon?

If you had to, you could fuck the watermelon.