Ok, this is a point only tangentially related to Twatson, et al. I have been introduced to some truly stellar bloggers as a result of this. There are too many to name; just check my broglol on the right hand side. Also, I'm eating Chinese right now so that's even funnier. I have way too much information on Twatson on my computer. More Twat here Hugh Hefner has had. But I'm not here to talk about some stupid bitch.
I'm here to talk about a smart one. Why is she bitch? Same reason the rest of us are - just born that way as a complex person full of competing interests, desires, needs and concerns. Note this last word as it's relevant here. Concern. Not fear. Concern is a healthy disposition which allows one to take more or less accurate stock of what hazards are in one's way. And to try as well as can be done to mitigate them.
Fear doesn't work like that. Fear is an emotion for survival. Fear is what one goes through while one is actively trying to avoid being the meal for a better predator. Like the cliff/gravity monster. It has false positives to it, which aren't great, but are better than false negatives. Getting scared when you're wrong is much better than failing to be scared when you should have been.
Well, Abbie, who blogs as ERV (endogeneous retrovirus) cracks me up. So, I've been doing my due diligence and reading through her archives. That's when I happened upon this story. These are the things that prevent Abbie from sleeping out of concern that her actions might actually harm someone else. And she's quite right to note that if dog owner had been female and random nice stranger had been male, she'd have handled the situation entirely differently.
I wouldn't have done it here either. Why? Because I hate women of course! Oh wait, it's called thinking through one's actions and appreciating that we all have issues we don't need to think about. I wouldn't want people letting in others to my yard, so I don't do that to others. I don't want my phone number given out without my explicit permission, so I don't do that to others.
So, why does this matter? It doesn't really. No one was hurt and no one decided to get butthurt and start advising the world what to do. The dude in question went to find Abbie and talk to her about what she did and what he'd like her to consider in the future as it regards him. And notice the story Abbie tells.
It's a personal story in her frame of reference. It's not advice to people for whom it would be inappropriate to tell them. She's saying: here, x happened today, I did y and it was stupid. I wouldn't have done this except for the fact the guy was black and a guy. And what did she do after all of that? Recognized it for what it is - presuming to have some special knowledge about what a person should or shouldn't be able to do based on their association with a group. In this case, race and gender.
And I have to say, I am just as fucking guilty. I'm still thinking right now "well, it's not as big of a deal since he is big, black and male as it would have been in other situation." I have no way of knowing that at all. It's rank conjecture on my part, and even though I've recognize that I have no way to know what a.) random nice lady is capable of or b.) what random tall black guy is capable of I still feel it's somehow less bad an issue than the reverse. And this is wrong of me.
Compare this with elevatorgate and see if you can't spot how the situations are different. Say, I don't think Abbie studied communications in a technical college, but somehow she manage to get across the point she wants to, and the point she needs to. All without insulting a single person. Implying that in order to understand how other people feel, one somehow has to imagine or think of one's self as a predator.
Attagirl, Abbie!
