If it please the court, your honor, I should like to take a moment of the court's time to discuss an issue involving your honor's incompetence, if it's all the same to you. You see, judge, you are at present the jurist presiding over a divorce case involving one Mr. James Kirk, and one Mrs. Tina Kirk who, as your honor will know, have two minor children. As you will also know in regards this case, the court has been presented with a guardian ad litem report (hereinafter 'the report') recommending that said minor children, whose names I shall not mention, should be placed in the care of their father rather than their mother as a consequence of their mother's ill-controlled alcoholism and general mental illness. Also present in the report is a documented history of abusive conduct on the part of the mother as directed towards these minor children.
These reports are fairly common in your line of work, and would in the course of a normal case not rise to level of being remarkable beyond the parties directly involved (i.e., yourself, the parents, their lawyers, and various government officials otherwise bound up in dealing with this particular case); however, the instant case has a few peculiarities which attendance has drawn my attention. I, of course, refer to your decision to place the minor children in the custody of their mentally ill, abusive and alcoholic mother rather than their father, and in disregard of the report indicating that the mother is unsuited at present to properly care for the children in addition to her being abusive against them. Further compounding matters is the fact that the publicly available report has found its way to a website whereat a copy, which redacts the name of the children, has been posted to bring to the attention of the public-at-large your decision.
The guardian ad litem has filed an injunction request with the court to enjoin both Mr. Kirk and avoiceformen from posting said report, and to order the latter to remove from its website the redacted copy of the public report because the report, it is alleged, does not serve the best interests of the children. Presumably, if the best interests of the children are served by your placing these children in the care of a drunken, mentally ill parent who has a documented history of abusing her children, then people discussing the fact that you have put these children at physical risk of being harmed must serve their best interests, for stopping someone from being, oh, say, beaten is an issue more pressing than someone discussing the fact that someone has been beaten, and you clearly have ruled that being beaten is in a child's best interest.
As noted in the guardian ad litem's motion now pending before the court notes, said motion was served on the attorney of record who is representing Mr. Kirk in the case now before your court. In an order for a hearing on this motion which you had entered into the record on September 28, I can't help but notice that Mr. Kirk's attorney's name appears on page two just above your signature. I also cannot help but to notice that you have dutifully lined through the attorney's name and appended to page one of this order a handwritten note which you've initialed indicating that the order should be served on Mr. Kirk directly for he is, on your telling, not represented by an attorney. What is more is that I cannot find (a), a note indicating that his attorney no longer represents him, or (b) that Mr. Kirk has informed the court that he wishes to proceed without an attorney.
And as a peculiar aside to all of this, judge, I notice that I am not subject to the jurisdiction of your court, and even if I were, I am not a named party in the motion, so your order enjoining any of the named parties from publishing this document wouldn't apply to me in any event. Thus, in an effort to educate you in the ways of the internet; viz., the Streisand Effect, should you actually sign an order enjoining said parties from hosting or publishing this document, I shall immediately upload said document and host said document for the public, as their interest might dictate, might view it at their convenience. During the intervening period of time, I shall only link to it on the avoiceformen website.
Somewhere Your Writ Won't Run